The Marathon Of My Life

Be At The Right Place

2007-10-16T06:54:00.000-07:00

Well, if you are a singapore student,
you will probably have guessed the content of this entry judging by the title itself.
Basically, i think being at the right place is an extremely crucial thing for the students, especially in the process of decision making as to which institution to enter after each completion of an education stage.
This is simply because, you just do not want to REGRET!

I used to consider that any 'O' level students who didn't manage to step into the JC,
are in one or another way,
not to be considered to have a standard margin of intellectual level,
having some sorts of mental development deficiency.
Then, i used to look at them disdainfully,
with little or no admiration of their existence at all.
The overwhelming aura of superiority always shielded around me whenever i got to explain to any one of these 'social rejects'-i considered- that i got into one of the most prestigious JUNIOR COLLEGE.
Not only i looked down on them because of which institution they have entered, but
many a times, i also condemned them in various forms of manner of which i used to be real proud of - "well, not any tom, dick, or harry can do this highly intellectual kind of stuffs", i pondered at those time.

However, at this point of time,
i gathered that i was being such a shallow, empty-headed, lowly person to ever have that perceptions and actually treated it as part of my belief- recited it through my actions!

Well, I'm sure by now you must have been thinking what happened to this superficial and depthless HIMBO?
What made this prick change his so as to say 'highly intellectual' perceptions?

Basically, like most of the learned,
pains and sorrows are the keys of to my enlightenment.
Not that i failed any of the subjects in the school,
or get expelled due to any academic reasons
*because i ended up choosing not to continue after about 5 months of experience anyway!*
but it's due to the countless complaints and grouses that I've heard so far from some of my closest friends.
Apparently, they are ain't happy,
and some to the extend of contemplating to quit.
Well, i don't have to rave about the constant stress level that bombard them!
You guys would prolly have heard thousands similar stories that I've gathered.
And it's not that they had never heard of this before!
It's just that some of them have the silliest ever perceptions that i used to have!
It's the EGO!
It's the Superficialism!
And then, now, REGRET kicks in!

But I'd say, it's not a wrong thing at all to try to achieve as much as you can in your life.
It's just the extend of how you do it, with the consideration of your personal ability.
I reckon, it's not a very healthy thing to practise, to get into something that bring you some sorts of social status but ended up having some emotion distortions.

In fact, i am starting to envious the Polytechnic student's lifestyle after having sorta getting to know better about their way of education.
They learn things that they are interested on, rather then being forced, and most importantly, majority of them are pleased about it!

So, i reckon it's not important at all which school or wotever place you are in.
Well, the location factor do contribute slightly to the final outcome i must say.
However, I'm very sure that anyone can do just as well as they want to be,
provided with the extra efforts that they have to put in to get them to where they want to be.
It's just one of the analogy that typical Sinagporean aunty would make:
'Aiyo, nothing is free la!'

So, I've came to a conclusion ;
'Life's short so, why suffer?'- now this cliche verse makes much more sense to me!

Goodbye Himbo,
Hello Owen!

Jolly Old Saint Nicholas

2007-10-15T05:10:00.000-07:00

Too soon for christmas?

Haha, pardon me! i'm just so excited about x'mas!
Well, more to missing x'mas actually.
Never really have had any x'mas celebration since i was young, and even up till now i guess.
Of course I ever had those x'mas party-those teenage craze party of sorts!
What I meant was when i was young,
no one really talk about santa, presents,etc.
And personally, I never recieve any x'mas present in my whole life up till now!
Am actually kinda envious of those fortunate kids whose parents pamper them with x'mas presents and have a huge x'mas tree in their house!
Haha, i guess i was really deprived from all these tiny little childhood things!
It was so bad that there was a point of time when i was young, i don't even know when and what is x'mas!
Then, when i finally figured out all about it,
it was too late to catch-up with all that i'd missed!

So, sometimes like this, when my itunes happens to play some sweet and comforting x'mas song,
Jolly Old Saint Nicholas
I would kinda want to go back to the time!!
HAHA, it's hilarious i noe!
Especially hearing this from an OLD TEENAGE!
Seriously, now that i've stepped into the world of adulthood,
the coming-of-age, so as to speak, there are so many restrictions starting to appear!

It's IRONIC i know!!
Supposedly, i'm granted to get into basically bars, nightclubs or whichever sleazy places you can mention!
But, the opportunity cost of these little 'get away' moments, are huge(maybe just for me)!
It means that i have to bear more responsibilities in ALL my actions!
People have lower tolerance on my mistakes,
Expecting a huge deal of explainations,
And starting to get 'you-should-know-it-little-dude' stares already!

Reality VS Fantasy

2007-10-13T19:37:00.000-07:00

Have you ever found yourself falling into an abyss of darkness,
feeling lost, aimlessly keep falling and falling?
And you know well better then the others
the consequences of landing on the bottom of everything.

You'll bruised beyond recognitions,
separated into pieces,
and disappear without even known by yourself.
Yet, you put no efforts at all to struggle,
neither have a mere spark of hope that you'll get out from the world full of uncertainties!

Ironically, sometimes, you do enjoy the process.
"Agonising but adventerous," you thought.
It gives no worries and you pretended everything is fine- at least for now.
'What is it to care now? Life's short, and i ain't got enough time to think about these silly, meaningless question!' you might always ponder.
And you don't even want to ignite a mere hope or whatsoever that you are suppose to have!

So, when someone question you about the purpose of your life,
You'll make up some of the most innovative and full of purposes answer,
raving about how colourful your life is,
with no warmth, sweetness or bitterness under your tongue,
all because, you don't even understand it, silly !

Then, one morning you wake up, you scanned around your room,
siting on your comfy bed- credits to your lies- and start weeping,
finding no one around you, not even YOURSELF!
You start searching and you can't seem to find YOU-because it's too dark.
You search again(finally!), and you found it!

But, you paused! You didn't grab yourself back immediately!
You didn't hold on to the twig on the wall, so that you can hang on there, and stop falling!
Your heartbeats should be beating at an abnormal rate by now.
Struggling to distinguish between reality and fantasy.

Then, you walk slowly, fall slowly
passing by,
YOURSELF- the only help that you'll get,
ignoring the cry inside you,
to the washroom,
keep polishing again! and you know you are still falling!

Came out,
pranced to your wardrobe,
grabbing the most expensive matching shirt and pants,
staring at 'yourself' in the mirror,
admiring this temporal little things again,
continue walking on the fantasy avenue,
and trying to fall as 'gracefully' as you can,
into the darkness.

My Brother

2007-10-08T20:37:00.000-07:00

Well, if you guys have yet to know about my elder bro, here you go:

He's tall

He's dark

He's Hot

AND FUNNY!
(The Number 2 dude on the extreme right)

I still remember back then, when we were young, we got really competitive and concious about who was better then the other. I must admit, i did feel inferior at times back then. Well, he's a fortunate guy who was born with EXTRAORDINARY LOOK, i must comment. In fact, praises of how cute and cuddlish he was back then still linger at this time! Me, on the other hand, was and still known as the cheeky, toruble-maker guy! Well, i bet you have smelt a slight sense of jealousy at this moment! Nevertheless, i'm truely proud of who is he now- not how suave he looks like but he as my bro. And, i guess God has blessed him much with all the things that He had given to this collie dude! BE THANKFUL BRO!

So much of raving about him,

The BOTTOMLINE:
SUPPORT MAH BRO ON THE 22nd OCT MONDAY, channel U, 8pm
(will update you guys again with more details)

The Thing With Me

2007-10-04T05:24:00.000-07:00

I can be a mystery, cover up my heart and never show my emotions, keeping you in the dark.
I can be a clown, cracking the silliest jokes ever, raving about my life.
I can be the most perfect person ever, showing only what I'm best at.
Again,
I can try to be the sweetest person ever, promise you the moon and stars in the dimmest night.
I can try to be the greatest person, everyone crave for.

But is it all everyone want from me?

Still ,I AM trying rigorously,
Pleasing no one pretending to be the proudest man ever standing.
But every night i pray bitterly,
Hoping to wake up living the most outright life the following.

The deceptiveness is so great.
I am utterly overwhelmed by these complexities
Then again, who am I to against?
I don't wanna be dried up by these insanities

I tried,
He tries,
Continue trying...

BEAUTIFUL DAY

2007-09-28T07:31:00.000-07:00

Okay, am so glad that i managed to pull myself up from my bed this morning.
Else, i guess I'd have such a depressing time doing the usual "home alone" stuffs again!
Anyway, it was such a lovely day i tell you!!
It was super sunny (and I'm getting tanner now ,yeah!) AND,
It was duper windy too!
So it's not like the humid spore, whr u actually getting litres n litres of perspiration.
Well well, went to Uni for the second time? yeah

Tell you smt!! Uni Syd is BEEE -UUU - TII - FUUL!
The architectures and settings are just so classically structured!
Really looking forward to get into uni soon.
Well, did rock climbing in the sports complex for the first time!
It was definitely exciting and smt that i'd regret if i decided to be a homey geek again!
Oh well, the safety belts and buckles are annoying tho!
OKAY maybe it ONLY applies to guys!
It squeezes and constrains guys penes, as if they are wearing their 3 yrs-old briefs!

And, im really proud of myself for completing a set of wall!
I want to give myself the credit cos i really think it's not an easy task!
Failed for abt 3 times before i got to the top? yeah
And so do the other 3 of my friends(:
4 of us then decided to head to city for early dinner with bus(:
AND AND the bus driver was so friendly!
He actually greeted every single passenger that boarded,
saying " Welcome and have a nice day!"
EVERY SINGLE PASSENGER!!! can u imagine that?
and, he told all of us stories about how lovely the day was, blar blar blar!
Of course it wasnt as boring as i'm reciting now!
Well, it's such a good thing to see someone like him enjoying his own job!
I mean, how many of you guys wake up in the morning saying " YEAH it's time to work!"
NUTS-NESS if u do so!

PLUS! THANKS FOR THE YUMMY TIRAMISU CAKE THAT LI QING AND SHARON BAKE FOR ME! AND NOT FORGETTING THE BASH THAT MY BIBLE STUDY GROUP HAD DONE FOR ME(;
happy advance 18th bday to MYSELF!!

2007-09-26T22:15:00.000-07:00

time's flying so fast in school.
it has been only 5 months?
and i've been bombarded with crazy level of stress CONSTANTLY!
I've yet to enjoy my days in aussie but those lunatic assignments, projects and crap loads of stuffs!!

i hear ramblings murmurings
i can make out some of it,
i don't want to hear it,
it can be overwhelming.
so just shut up.
and leave me alone.
childish,inconsiderate,petty and people who are SO full of themselves
do not help alleviate the situation.
they think they're queens and princesses.
thanks, really.
you've been much of support.
things that needn't be said were said.
thanks, now im aware.
its sinking we all know it.
i'll drown soon.
i'll want to drown soon.

the race is on,
the time is short,
i'm barely even there yet.

Is that all that i need?

2007-09-23T06:22:00.001-07:00

Well, the overwhealming assignments on my hands almost killed me( I'm not lying!).
They have been constantly pulling down my days and i feel kinda tiresome and lifeless!
I mean i'm just so sick of the routine:

- Wake up @ 6.50 am
- School at 8am
- Reach home @ 5 pm
- Buldge, nap and dinner till 8 pm
- Upholding my nerd status till 2am

I can't imagine i've to continue this routine till like mid-Dec? sighh..
Anw, it's my fault for buldging so much during the 1st 2 terms.
I guess i've to sacrifice all my social life till dec JUST TO CATCH-UP.

This leads me to series of dispiriting qsns:
What am i living for? What am i exactly chasing for?

Really wish i could have been and be somebody else;(

A Partial Geek

2007-09-14T20:10:00.000-07:00

This is not even funny!
Slept at 4AM (to be a nerd arse) just then and woke up at like 11AM?

PLUS

Have to do piless of laundry
Worrying about rental stuffs
Cracking out what to have for my lunch and dinner later on
AND GETTING READY FOR DANCE CONCERT (least dread)

BUT OUCH!
All the assignments kinda spoiling my supposed super saturday!

WAIT,
i think it's alright to buldge(slack) 'once' in a while.

BEING A BIAACH

2007-09-14T01:21:00.000-07:00

It's always hard to shut up.
Especially when it's YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU!
A civilize place like this need mention nothing,
or disclosing YOUR name- of which utterly disgust me!
Well, if u have a slight bit of humanity similar to a shameless ape,
probably you would know i'm talking a worthless creature
LIKE YOU!

p.s. shit! blogging about an imbecile making me feel so freaking himbotic!