Reality VS Fantasy

Have you ever found yourself falling into an abyss of darkness,
feeling lost, aimlessly keep falling and falling?
And you know well better then the others
the consequences of landing on the bottom of everything.

You'll bruised beyond recognitions,
separated into pieces,
and disappear without even known by yourself.
Yet, you put no efforts at all to struggle,
neither have a mere spark of hope that you'll get out from the world full of uncertainties!

Ironically, sometimes, you do enjoy the process.
"Agonising but adventerous," you thought.
It gives no worries and you pretended everything is fine- at least for now.
'What is it to care now? Life's short, and i ain't got enough time to think about these silly, meaningless question!' you might always ponder.
And you don't even want to ignite a mere hope or whatsoever that you are suppose to have!

So, when someone question you about the purpose of your life,
You'll make up some of the most innovative and full of purposes answer,
raving about how colourful your life is,
with no warmth, sweetness or bitterness under your tongue,
all because, you don't even understand it, silly !

Then, one morning you wake up, you scanned around your room,
siting on your comfy bed- credits to your lies- and start weeping,
finding no one around you, not even YOURSELF!
You start searching and you can't seem to find YOU-because it's too dark.
You search again(finally!), and you found it!

But, you paused! You didn't grab yourself back immediately!
You didn't hold on to the twig on the wall, so that you can hang on there, and stop falling!
Your heartbeats should be beating at an abnormal rate by now.
Struggling to distinguish between reality and fantasy.

Then, you walk slowly, fall slowly
passing by,
YOURSELF- the only help that you'll get,
ignoring the cry inside you,
to the washroom,
keep polishing again! and you know you are still falling!

Came out,
pranced to your wardrobe,
grabbing the most expensive matching shirt and pants,
staring at 'yourself' in the mirror,
admiring this temporal little things again,
continue walking on the fantasy avenue,
and trying to fall as 'gracefully' as you can,
into the darkness.